I recently came across an article in the NY Times onlline that asked for readers’ comments about their “Worse House Guest.” Amazingly, the question must have touched a chord, because hundreds of people responded, and their brief anecdotes are a revelation.

Here’s the link:

http://news.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/25/your-worst-house-guest/

Just as we have portable boundaries around our bodies, our apartment, home, castle is also an important boundary. Who do you let in? How long can they stay? Are their any conditions or limitations? Are there strings attached for house-guests? Do we then expect that they will reciprocate? Offer thanks? Help? Money?

Whenever I have paid overnight visits at friends’ or relatives’ homes or apartments, I’ve said the typical, “I hope this isn’t an inconvenience.” News flash: Houseguests are always an inconvenience. Even the nicest and most considerate ones. Extra laundry. Extra food (especially if the guest has preferences). Doors unlocked. Comings and goings. Privacy and boundary issues. Sometimes their company justifies it; other times, not. One of life’s realities.

Most of us want to help, to give, to be good hosts. But the stories reveal lessons learned by people sadder and wiser for the experience of difficult house-guests. The road to hell is indeed sometimes paved with good intentions.

So if anyone asks you to enter your home and stay for a day, a week, or longer, sleep on it before answering. And be clear about your expectations and rules and write them down. If it’s for more than an overnight drop-in, have all parties sign them or at least make sure you all have a clear understanding.

Any comments?

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I’ve pasted in, below, an Op Ed piece by David Brooks, a columnist at the New York Times. It speaks for itself about what may well reflect a major jump in human evolution as we humans continue to meld with technology — or as Brooks calls it, "outsourcing the brain."

Mr. Brooks keeps his conversation topical, entertaining, tongue-in-cheek — he is, after all, a columnist. But this column (and others like it from various pundits) represents a shot heard round the world. Not yet, of course — it will take time for our technology to reach developing nations. But it will.

Is it a good thing, this new development? Wikipedia, iTunes, GPS and technological innovations to come? Will technology change us for better or worse? Will innovations created from human imagination and need ride in like the cavalry to rescue us in our environmental perils?

Some of us believe that it will take a divine intervention or help from the stars. But maybe we, ourselves, are both the devils we fear and the angels we seek.

Anyway, enjoy Brooks’ clever and prescient piece. I welcome your comments.

October 26, 2007
OP-ED COLUMNIST
The Outsourced Brain

By DAVID BROOKS
The gurus seek bliss amidst mountaintop solitude and serenity in the meditative trance, but I, grasshopper, have achieved the oneness with the universe that is known as pure externalization.

I have melded my mind with the heavens, communed with the universal consciousness, and experienced the inner calm that externalization brings, and it all started because I bought a car with a G.P.S.

Like many men, I quickly established a romantic attachment to my G.P.S. I found comfort in her tranquil and slightly Anglophilic voice. I felt warm and safe following her thin blue line. More than once I experienced her mercy, for each of my transgressions would be greeted by nothing worse than a gentle, “Make a U-turn if possible.”

After a few weeks, it occurred to me that I could no longer get anywhere without her. Any trip slightly out of the ordinary had me typing the address into her system and then blissfully following her satellite-fed commands. I found that I was quickly shedding all vestiges of geographic knowledge.

It was unnerving at first, but then a relief. Since the dawn of humanity, people have had to worry about how to get from here to there. Precious brainpower has been used storing directions, and memorizing turns. I myself have been trapped at dinner parties at which conversation was devoted exclusively to the topic of commuter routes.

My G.P.S. goddess liberated me from this drudgery. She enabled me to externalize geographic information from my own brain to a satellite brain, and you know how it felt? It felt like nirvana.

Through that experience I discovered the Sacred Order of the External Mind. I realized I could outsource those mental tasks I didn’t want to perform. Life is a math problem, and I had a calculator.

Until that moment, I had thought that the magic of the information age was that it allowed us to know more, but then I realized the magic of the information age is that it allows us to know less. It provides us with external cognitive servants — silicon memory systems, collaborative online filters, consumer preference algorithms and networked knowledge. We can burden these servants and liberate ourselves.

Musical taste? I have externalized it. Now I just log on to iTunes and it tells me what I like.

I click on its recommendations, sample 30 seconds of each song, and download the ones that appeal. I look on my iPod playlist and realize I’ve never heard of most of the artists I listen to. I was once one of those people with developed opinions about the Ramones, but now I’ve shed all that knowledge and blindly submit to a mishmash of anonymous groups like the Reindeer Section — a disturbing number of which seem to have had their music featured on the soundtrack of “The O.C.”

Memory? I’ve externalized it. I am one of those baby boomers who are making this the “It’s on the Tip of My Tongue Decade.” But now I no longer need to have a memory, for I have Google, Yahoo and Wikipedia. Now if I need to know some fact about the world, I tap a few keys and reap the blessings of the external mind.

Personal information? I’ve externalized it. I’m no longer clear on where I end and my BlackBerry begins. When I want to look up my passwords or contact my friends I just hit a name on my directory. I read in a piece by Clive Thompson in Wired that a third of the people under 30 can’t remember their own phone number. Their smartphones are smart, so they don’t need to be. Today’s young people are forgoing memory before they even have a chance to lose it.

Now, you may wonder if in the process of outsourcing my thinking I am losing my individuality. Not so. My preferences are more narrow and individualistic than ever. It’s merely my autonomy that I’m losing.

I have relinquished control over my decisions to the universal mind. I have fused with the knowledge of the cybersphere, and entered the bliss of a higher metaphysic. As John Steinbeck nearly wrote, a fella ain’t got a mind of his own, just a little piece of the big mind — one mind that belongs to everybody. Then it don’t matter, Ma. I’ll be everywhere, around in the dark. Wherever there is a network, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a TiVo machine making a sitcom recommendation based on past preferences, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a Times reader selecting articles based on the most e-mailed list, I’ll be there. I’ll be in the way Amazon links purchasing Dostoyevsky to purchasing garden furniture. And when memes are spreading, and humiliation videos are shared on Facebook — I’ll be there, too.

I am one with the external mind. Om."

In reponse to a question about "the meaning of life" — my comments:

What is the meaning of life?

Robert Byrne once wrote, "The purpose of life is a life of purpose." His quip says much in few words. I could say the same about meaning and be done with it. But there’s more to the picture:

Many people believe (as I once did) that everything we do reflects our search for (pursuit of) happiness. But  we seek something far deeper. I believe that every heart seeks a sense of meaning, purpose and connection.

Meaning: A life that makes sense, that seems worthwhile, that counts for something.

Purpose: An aim, a goal, a practice or profession — a form of service suitable to our talents, interests and values.

Connection: An authentic and deep connection with ourselves, with others, and with the Transcendent.

In the novel Zorba the Greek (a tale about the joy of living), one character says to another, "If you could dance what you just said, I might understand." I feel the same way about the question of "meaning." Meaning is not something to be neatly packaged or contained. Life doesn’t have one constant meaning for everyone. In fact, from a transcendental perspective, nothing means anything — life simply arises out of Mystery.

The statement that "nothing means anything" could be taken for some dreary existential philosophy (i.e. "if nothing means anything then I might as well kill myself.") But actually, this statement is quite liberating. Because we are free to make up our own meanings. And we do, every day, every moment.

So the proper question to ask may be not "What is the meaning of life" but rather, "What is the meaning of your life?"

What enlivens your spirit? What uplifts your heart? What are you willing to work towards and to sacrifice for? What gives your life purpose and joy? These are more useful questions that speculating about "the" meaning of life.

I have found (and created) meaning in my own life through teaching — sharing what I learned with others. One day I realized that no matter how much I improved myself, only one person might benefit. But if I could influence other people in a positive way, that made my life count for something.

Some people search for satisfaction through self-gratification — amassing money and collecting things and experiences, sights, memories. But the most fortunate among us discover that deeper meaning and purpose and connection are found through service — making a positive difference in another person’s life. The surest way to happiness may ultimately come through helping others find joy, success, love.

In the meantime, we can enjoy our own adventures — feel the wind in our hair and celebrate the blessing of having this human experience here on planet Earth. How odd and unlikely that we should exist at all! And how amazing that we are given a life, and experiences, and people and pleasures and surprises and challenges to help us grow stronger and wiser.

Just as there is no one meaning for all, neither is there a best teacher, book, religion or martial art, or best music or work of art or path or exercise or dietary system — only the best one for each of us at a given time.

Life is an experiment. There is no meaning but the one we create. Wherever we step, the path appears beneath our feet.

This blog offers cautionary guidance for parents (or grandparents) of young children, specifically related to the information in my book, The Life You Were Born to Live.

The life-purpose information revealed in The Life You Were Born to Live provide insight into one’s own life path and the life paths of our parents, children and others.

For parents, the information often generates a newfound compassion and understanding of self and others regarding the potential hurdles, strengths and issues their children may face in the course of their lives. But it is a description of potential; not predictive for every individual.

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Sharing thoughts about meditation seems like a contradiction. Isn’t meditation all about "taking out the trash" and ridding ourselves of rambling thoughts? Well . . . not necessarily.

Many of us have tried meditation, but grew discouraged and after a time, stopped practicing. Maybe because it seemed boring or we didn’t have time to just sit — but more likely, we decided that we weren’t good at "quieting the mind."

As if that were a realistic goal.

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